I love reading blogs written anonymously by people my age. I mostly read girls' blogs, because they are usually more expressive and well written. These blogs are written anonymously because they usually talk about things that society (i.e. their friends/family) would not consider appropriate discourse. I am generally a pretty normal, unemotional person without any sort of over-bearing Freudian thoughts that I feel like I need to talk about anonymously in a blog, but I feel like I should offer up this perspective, being that I assume it is pretty unique:I am an 18 and a half year old guy who is a sophomore in college, and I have never had sex, nor do I envision doing so anytime in the near future.
However, I am not unattractive/obese, extremely religious, or lacking in social skills. It is probably a result of one of the following:
- I don't drink or do drugs, nor I am frequently around anyone (especially girls) when they are.
- I immediately notice the flaws of people (girls) when I get to know them.
- I rarely make poor decisions.
My roommate, is, in all likelihood, a virgin. He is 19 and a half, and a large football player with glasses and braces. I would assume that generally his physical appearance is keeping him from doing the deed, as I can barely stand to look at him without a shirt on. I can imagine that he, along with me, is part of the extremely small minority of college sophomores who have not had sex. But, with me, I guess it just comes down to the fact that I do not have a girlfriend, and I don't really envision myself having sex with someone I don't know. I have had one girlfriend since I have been in college, and we went out for two months. After the first month, it became apparent that I had deluded myself into thinking she was someone she was not in order to "trick myself into liking her." So, I decided it would be best not to have sex with her and have her get more attached to me. This is pretty much the only opportunity I have had, and I've been shopping around for would-be devirginizers for the last year. As the year-mark approaches, I have begun to meditate more than I've wished on why I am forced in this condition, and the possible repercussions from it:
Good:
- No STDs, jealousy, drama, dependency, condoms, sexiling my roommate.
Bad:
- No companionship, relief of sexual tension, use of my abilities at their prime functionality/opportunity, among others.
Now, if you're wondering, I actually masturbate very little. Back in high school, it was more like once a day, but now, I'd say 3 times a week at most. (This is partly just the laziness of waiting until my roommate is out of the room, then forgetting to.) So, I'm not really sure how I function. I don't think about sex all the time; in fact, probably much less than most.
So I go back to my hobby of reading blogs, usually which involve girls candidly and anonymously talking about their sexual desires. Perhaps I am trying to vicariously live a sex life through words, but it's more just a study of human nature and an attempt to understand the subconscious of who I know. This is more to see if I have a similarly strong subconscious as a result of my sexual inactivity, and to see how my unique situation in college affects me or my experience greatly, if it does. That, and I am probably looking for some sort of imaginary audience to appreciate my virginity and motivate me to end it. I'll take whatever help I can get, at this point...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)